Navigating the Challenges in the Neurodiverse Marriage: Online Coaching with Mark Hutten, M.A.

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There are several issues that can cause communication breakdown between the autistic spouse and his or her neurotypical (NT) spouse. For example, mind-blindness, emotions-blindness, executive-function deficits, and anxiety often prevent the couple from being able to discuss and resolve relationships problems. 

Although these are legitimate traits of ASD, it’s understandable that the NT spouse may view her autistic spouse as being selfish, uncaring, insensitive, self-absorbed - and even narcissistic. 

The autistic spouse often gets blamed for gaslighting, emotionally invalidating, and ignoring his NT wife. Also, the autistic spouse's meltdowns and shutdowns contribute to resentment in his spouse. Therefore, to circumvent communication breakdown, communication strategies in a neurodiverse marriage MUST be sensitive to the autistic traits listed above.

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